If the mere view of a female body is enough to turn on a man, the opposite is not true. In most cases, viewing a male body is not enough to make a woman horny. You must sense which touches arouses her … which touches bring her discomfort …. Women require much more time to get horny.
By making sure to make her moist and wanting you before penetrating her, you dramatically increase her chances of reaching orgasm during sex. Figure out what her most erogenous parts are and concentrate on them. It can be various places such as:. Some women love when you sensually kiss their breasts, others prefer when you only kiss and suck their nipples, other prefer when you lick them…. Instead of slightly caressing the clitoris, they start with way too much intensity right away. After you start touching her clitoris slightly, incrementally increase the pressure on it.
Pay attention to her reactions: try to identify what kind of touches speed, pressure, area she prefers. Do not hesitate to touch other parts of her body and to kiss her breasts while working on her clitoris. You can make her reach orgasm this way. For some women, clitoral stimulation is enough to make them come, whereas for some others, it will be more effective to introduce one of several fingers into her vagina while continuing to caress her clitoris…or to penetrate her…which gets us to the next key…. As always, take it a step at a time. To make a girl come during penetration, the best way is to stimulate her clitoris while penetrating her.
There are various ways to do it, such rubbing your pubis against hers or using your finger. By massaging all around her vulva, you'll make the area there so much more sensitive. Do that for around 1—2 min.
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You can use your own saliva or get a simple water based lube. Sliquid Sassy lubricant is the most recommended among wide range of lovers. OK, now it's time to focus on that red triangle in the picture , her clitoris area and get her to orgasm. Keep experimenting with pressure. Start softer and then slowly increase the pressure. Pay attention to her body language and the noises she makes.
Once you find something that really arouses her, she will let you know. If you feel that her arousal is not increasing after around 1 min, then you can increase the pressure and speed up a little until she again makes stronger noises and trembles. Sometimes she will fix your hand herself and show you the most pleasurable movement you can do. Make sure you listen and play along! Now I know clitoris is way too sensitive.
It has 8, nerve endings and hood actually protects it. By making her come first, you will solve a lot of sex issues like premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction if you have them. You'll remove pressure from yourself to perform and because of that ironically will probably perform much better! For example, during the foreplay I would use a rabbit vibrating dildo on her while she would be giving me a blowjob insanely hot.
This is what I used. In my case, I didn't use the vibrations or even those rabbit ears. They would make the experience too intense. Instead, I just used the dildo without vibrations and made use of that angle. I rubbed her clit myself. Dildo like this can be a great aid if you have troubles lasting long enough or making her orgasm.
This thing will do most of the work, while you will still be driving it! I cannot count how many times, sex was ruined when I somehow painfully hit her vagina walls. It ruined her arousal, and it ruined mine. You can fuck her hard with that angle without EVER worrying about hurting her. Liberator often runs discounts. And these wedges will last forever. Read the thorough research article if you want to know how much sex wedges can affect and improve your sex life.
Finally, if you are more adventurous, here are two upgrade toys for extra variety. Please read the reviews and watch the videos on those pages to see how they look and work. Chances are your woman also will be far more aroused from you having fun because of the mirror neurons.
Have you noticed how you get aroused, when she orgasms? Then just go back to some light touch, massage her vulva and clit again to get her to orgasm one more time. It could serve as nice further education. To think that something she can do twice as fast by using a vibrator makes us the modern day Casanova is frankly: stupid.
Ladies are much different from guys again. Guys just want to roll over and lay, but ladies love extra cuddling afterward because they calm down much slower. You might run into issues like stress, anxiety, but the more you do it, the more comfortable you'll feel with each other. Maybe girl won't be able to relax because of past emotional blocks or simply she doesn't trust you enough to let go. You shouldn't talk about sex during the sex as it kills the vibe, but I and my girl have a nice routine. Cuddling session after sex can become a treasure for feedback on what to do more, what to do less, what to do differently..!
Also, it's cool to talk about fantasies, previous sex experience, and general sex talk randomly during the day. See your love-life as constantly growing and evolving. It's not just about orgasm and your animal drive satisfaction. Now as I mentioned before, this 3 step trick will only work for times. If you do the same thing, the same way eventually your woman will start feeling like you're just doing the motions and will lose connection.
But you gotta understand the fundamentals of great sex so you could transcend them and naturally become a great lover. Bonus : Download a free female erogenous zones map to discover the hottest places in her body. No joke. Having first time sex with virgin girl, how should i start so that she will remember the sex and ask me again and again so that we can wonderfull time.
Having sex with a experience girl, how should i start and how to be better then her.
Great sex is a sensual experience
She should feel like she is experiencing something new, how to make it enjoyable sex. But yeah…taking it slow, kissing, touching her body will be great already. I really love everything you have said. I feel like am on it already. But here is my question. Immediately I start the foreplay, my penis is standing erect.
But when I wanna have sex, it goes down totally. What are you thinking, feeling when it happens…? Great article indeed. I have to say that your approach changed my way of sleeping with women. I recommend all men go through this training for their or good and their girls. Loved the guide you have written! Please log in again. But hey, keep beating the drum of matri-mania if you please. Your numbers are shrinking, thankfully, and it is only a matter of time before our current form marriage--which gives benefits to marrieds at the expense of single people--will eventually go the way of the 8 track tape.
As per demographic changes, this will happen in our lifetime. I agree it would be easier for Alice to find a boyfriend. Yet I distinctly heard her say she wanted to be married. You want her to want something you think is better or more possible. In terms of marriage draining the financially successful Perhaps the laws protect those who give to a marriage in other ways. You don't have to be married.. I imagine most people reading my blog want to be both happy and happy sexually. It is FAR easier to get a boyfriend than to get married.
That's just common sense, considering that in western society a boyfriend would be at least along the timeline in natural progression to marriage. You say that people want to be happy sexually--I agree! But you don't have to get married to have sex. So that's a red herring on your part. Divorce does drain the financially successful. All are cheaper than a stay at home spouse!
Stop throwing up red herrings--You CAN be married. I fully support your right to live that way. What you are willfully ignoring are the "benefits" you receive via tax breaks, insurance breaks, and over privileges from the federal government.
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What happens to my Social Security when I die? It disappears. Married people? They pass it along to a spouse. It's gone. So look at the big picture--these benefits are all financed by single people, for the benefit of married people. It is wealth redistribution. And I will continue to stand firmly against these injustices.
If you favor special benefits for married people, I'm genuinely curious as to why you believe married people are special? Why should we single people subsidize your lifestyle? What makes you believe that you are a better citizen? Reed - I agree there are political considerations about marriage that are unfair including who can and cannot get married. I'm not ignoring this and in fact agree that there needs to be change.
Alice - your healthy sexual desire will go a long way toward finding the right man. Please join me in conversation on FB at LaurieWatson. SexTherapy - do you FB? What I mean by self-hugging is the bias that what works for you will work for everyone else, too. It is a common phenomena in all the helping professions. I think in psychological work it needs to be guarded against, since the therapist's role I think is to help the client become self-actualized in whichever way the client wants to go. As for the anonymity in posting comments, it hardly a matter of self-hugging.
I have no issues with anyone posting either anonymously or by name. First, people tend to put their names on comments when they have something to sell. Whether it's a book, a psychotherapy practice, a lecture series, etc Second, people tend to put their names on comments when they are more sure of what they're writing. Those commenters who might not be experienced professionals or professors are often feeling our way through, here, and would prefer not to have the embarrassment of having our names associated with ideas that we may be in the process of formulating, as opposed to being fully formulated.
Third, people tend to be anonymous when they know their comments may be politically incorrect or outside the mainstream. No one wants hate mail. Fourth, some commenters believe in the tradition of the Federalist Papers, published anonymously under the name Publius. That way, the discussion is about the ideas offered, and not the personalities doing the offering. Anyway, that's my two cents. Thanks for this forum; your blogs and the comments section are provocative. He wants to get off his meds. She wants to help him. Without any knowledge of why he is on them in the first place, she is helping him get off them.
Hopefully, they are only coming to see you because they are unhappy in life. I think our task is analyzing why that might be. You must have some theory about what makes people happy Would you encourage a narcissist to simply use people more?
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People only pay to see therapists when they can't solve their own problems. Most everyone makes an effort to remedy their own situation before they come to a therapist.
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They hope the therapist can see something that they can't see, or make a suggestion that they can't come up with themselves. Or provide an insight that will allow them to reframe the problem, and then solve it themselves. I don't think it is our job to remake the value systems of our clients. Some people are motivated by autonomy. Some by community. Some by religiosity. Most therapists I've met spark to the autonomy model, but it is the ultimate in self-hugging to believe that all people in the world should feel as the therapist does, and to try to move someone motivated differently toward that model.
There is ipso facto a problem. Self-actualization in the Maslovian sense means a full realization of a person's potential. It is not for us to define the way the person sees their own potential. It is always good to present alternative models. But ultimately, only the patient can tell us if the therapist is of help to reach their own vision.
I feel so fortunate to have sat in a chair across from you and reading this post makes me miss you all the more! I can't relate to and don't understand the other comments but as usual, your writing is percent on the mark for me. After reading it twice, I had Rich read it the first time I have done so and he was like, wow, I totally agree with that. So once again, your advice will help me, help my marriage and spice things up in our sex life.
You are awesome. Hey girl! So good to hear from you! I'm glad you both liked the article!! LOL re: Vancouver.. I get that women of any age don't really want to hear that, but as adults we have to deal with facts. Yes, women should absolutely do whatever it takes to keep their husbands sexually satisfied because, after a certain age, the man is making a sacrifice to even be with her, as she is no longer physically attractive.
To any man, of any age. As a self sufficient modern woman, I find men older than me physically unattractive as well, so old men who still want sex but not with old ladies should either pay for it with hookers or a gold digger, or just stick by their old wives and be thankful that most of the time throughout their marriage it is the wives who makes the sacrifice to be with them who happens to be naturally wired to be so superficial as to only want to have sex with young and pretty women.
It's possible that marriage is failing as a social institution because modern women no longer depend on men to be provided for, so I would suggest for men to start thinking differently and catching up with the new trend that as a social group they just aren't the priviledged ones like their forefathers did by making women properties instead of partners. As a self-sufficient modern woman, I find that I feel comfortable being honest with myself about sex and my own appearance. I believe that, no matter how much a man genuinely loves his wife and enjoys her companionship, it does not make him a bad person if he'd rather have sex with someone young and pretty.
There comes a point when a person is no longer a physically attractive being, and that point comes much earlier for women than for men. I just love how the world is full of people with stupendously different views!! Good luck in your life AJ! I hope you live a very long time! Why thank you, I also hope to live a very long time! As someone who is married to a man 9 years her junior, I am hoping that I can remain sexually active for the duration as well!
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I don't think I am on the fringe of public opinion here, either! I enjoyed the article and thank you for it. Here's hoping that many women read it and take it to heart; especially wives and girlfriends. I am taken aback by the belligerence and anger of many posters. Frankly, some asshole who hates marriage and thinks he's a victim of singlism should just go hang out at that dibello blog and leave the rest of us alone This post is for women who actually want to make their man or a man happy if they don't, the woman and man will ultimately both have to deal with it.
As a man, I could not agree more with the advice: women are not sexuAlly attractive when they act like sex is something a man does to a woman that she should endure. No matter what, somebody has to go first, and if he seems to be trying, your advice helps women know how to try. As for age and attractiveness, I'd say that the fact that a young, nubile, lean or at least weight appropriate woman is MORE sexually attractive does not mean an older, wiser, nicer, softer, more experienced sex partner is not attractive, or even not the first pick.
There is a lot to be said for great sex from a sexually voracious woman. But, I can assure everyone that an old, obese woman who is not into sex or meeting sexual desires is not likely to have a faithful man if he's got a libido and options It's true. If you are an unattractive woman with a sex drive or an attractive woman without a sex drive, and you demand physical monogamy, you had better be willing to make some pretty hefty sacrifices to achieve that.